i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
Is there any chance I can see you without pouring vodka on your head?
Mym mom just came downstairs as I got ghome ans I'm trying to act SO CASUAL as i stabdh here hut icant help bur be like 'girl where's ther Turkey sandwiche s' haahaa
I literally need you to talke care of me soooo9o9oooooo drubj gril makin a sabdwiche. SO far its judst bred and paper towel...
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Really, thanks for buying me caribou, it helped me out. Today will forever be the day I threw up in a caribou cup in the skyway outside of chipotle.
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
Every time I burp I plan an escape route because I'm scared I'm gonna puke on grandma
I smell like Dick and happiness
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
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