I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
so the plumber came, he found condoms, feathers and glitter in the pipes.
His fridge was full of blocks of pepperjack cheese, and his pantry was stocked with huge jars of jellybeans. Even if I'd been drunk, I don't think I could've made that up.
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
I FEEL LIKE I CAN TAKE DOWN A FULLY GROWN MOUNTAIN LION WITH ONLY A POINTY STICK OH MY GOD
You know, you have a good excuse now if you have a poor performance. Just say "what do you expect? I took a paintball to the DICK!!"
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
So I'm about to drive his drunk ass home and he spits on my car. Before I can say, "Dude, what the fuck?!", he puts his finger to my lips and goes "shhh, its in the past."
It's not stalking if you do it on LinkedIn...
He flipped me around so that we could have sex and both watch Die Hard... I think I found my sole mate. Merry Christmas to me!!🎄
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