He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
We should never set our expectations higher than pizza bagels cause then our night is bound to get better
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
Bro if you don't text me back I'm gonna send you a picture of my nut sack every ten seconds for the rest of the night. I'm home alone with nothing to do. Don't push me.
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
Randomize
