i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
An there's a little girl across the bar eating Mac n cheese... #1 she won't stop looking at me. Boo bitch I'm drinking alone. #2 I'm about to tackle her ass for that Mac n cheese.
Whoever brought the pigeon, please come and remove it from my living room.
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
Should I be concerned you put your last name in my phone as "danger"?
I just want it to be said that I had sex in my Belle dress last night. Classy motherfucker.
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
I can insert a female catheter, but I cannot grill a cheese.
I look excited, but its just a facade.
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
Randomize
