I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
I was holding her hair back and when she quit puking she told me she's been saving her scissor virginity for me.
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
Okay, who took a picture of their pubes shaved into a dragon on my phone and made it the background?!
I tackled a mailbox like a linebacker. He almost broke his hip and his friend lit a bottle rocket off inside of the car. Yes it was a successful night.
So instead of asking me for my number, he asked for my dad's because he wanted to "thank the man that helped create those tits."
You are a magnificent human being. I love you from head to toe. This wine is DELICIOUS.
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
Yeah. I made eggs in a microwave. I think that's an accomplishment this week, MOM.
HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
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