After I just paid $211 for my hair to be dyed and cut this guy at the bar said "I know you died your hair with koolaid, but I'd still fuck the shit out of you"
I still can't believe I found a dildo in my ceiling today.
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
I don't know... But I do think this is probably the longest series of texts we've written discussing your cock. David was right, it is a brave new world. Also, slow day at work again?
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
When I said tequila slammers would be the death of me, I didn't intend it to be today. Oh god.
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
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