I'm drive I can fine osifer
question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
She was so happy she found her sunglasses, that she blew me. Im now randomly hiding things of hers in hopes she'll find them and I'll get a repeat performance.
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
She looked at me and said there is a 90% chance I am going to puke in the next 10 minutes. 10 minutes later she is in jack in the box throwing up. She has amazing timing.
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
after tonight, seriously nothing could taste better than toothpaste
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
You have not lived until you've puked on your sequined UGGs in the Rite Aid parking lot while going to buy emergency contraceptives.
You have amazing self restraint. If there was one thing I could learn from you, that wouldn't be it. I love my life as it is.
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
Randomize
