I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
I forgot to lock the bathroom door. He walked in, saw me on the toliet, nodded, and walked back out.
I’m going to hump him until his teeth hurt and then I’m going to have my way with him
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
Randomize
