Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
In other news, I'm pretty sure my mom was encouraging me to have a threesome yesterday... I don't even want to start digging in that garden of horror and trauma.
I wish I could be happy with a nice Christian girl, but no, I need a hot mess who starts bar fights
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
I’m good. I learned that a guy ate the mushrooms that were growing out of his toilet, so there’s that.
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