Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
Just chased the kids into the backyard with kitchen knives. Best. Babysitters. Ever.
Just donated money to a kid for her softball team.
Obviously I'm trying to futher our next generation of lesbians. I may be hitting on her at the gay bar in ten years...
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
Nothing says Christmas like gin and tears.
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
Found our threesome girl. She says I'm pretty. She doesn't know I'm pregnant. Yet. Think we can pull it off?
I told him I'd go cook him breakfast, but ended up passing out on the kitchen floor in the fetal position spooning the dog
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
I wasn’t trying to be creepy it just happened
I’m beginning to think that’s your defining personality trait.
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