Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
It honestly took me longer to beat Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time, than it did to have sex with her the first time we met.
You know how I know it's Spring Break? I just passed a car with "South Padre bound" shoe polished on the back. The driver was blatantly drinking a roadie and getting road head.
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
Just woke up to my stoned boyfriend building a shrine around my bare ass. He'll never leave me.
Did you ask me to bring you a t-shirt to class or did I just dream that?
No, I did. It's a long story.
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
I swear to god if you settle for a trump supporting packers fan, I will not acknowledge your children. You're better than that.
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