I just got hit by a car and apologized to the driver. I asked him if he was okay.
im about as happy as oj after his trial
Shiiiit I think I'm getting sick. probably had something to do with the fact that i shared my mouth with everyone last night.
Wait. That came out far sluttier than I intended.
You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
i'm not sure when i reached "slam my own hand in the door" status but my half attached fingernail is not grateful.
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
Then you better bring Starbucks and a box of condoms in the morning.
Oh shit. This is getting real.
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
This guy on Hoarders just said "we're all about 4 or 5 decisions away from shitting in a bucket". True dat
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
That makes 14 Xmas cards already! Middle aged people are really nice to their dealers.
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
Randomize
