They're drinking Schnapps out of Spaghetti-o's cans. Please come pick me up.
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
I'm sitting by myself in my bra eating a waffle and drinking pineapple rum. gamedaaaayyyyyyy
Getting business cards printed for tonight. Would you rather be: 1. Vice President of Argentina 2. Celebrity Dental Assistant or 3. Dial-Up Internet Technician
3. Dial-Up Internet Technician.
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
I told him I was going outside to throw up and I ended up passing out in the front yard in my underwear for 45 minutes. When I walked back inside he said "where have u been?". My husband ladies and gentlemen
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
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