i think my tv is drunk
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
Side note. I love it when I think I've sobered up and then I get a second wind of drunk
The sad part is I didn't even want to get laid. I just wanted the emotional connection, but my vagina was screaming "TOUCH ME. TOUCH ME RIGHT NOW BECAUSE MY DADDY ISSUES ARE MUCH DEEPER THAN MY EMOTIONAL NEEDS!" Vodka has a way of getting me out of my emotions and gets me fucked every time.
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
I'm on my third roll of toilet paper. Today can fuck right off.
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
OH MY GOD YOU GUYS I JUST FOUND OUT I HAD PHONE SEX THE OTHER NIGHT
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