my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
dude, she was giving me a lapdance and her thong had a skid mark. no I did not hit it.
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks
I AM NOT THE MAN IN THIS RELATIONSHIP.
It's shit like this that makes people think we're gay.
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
Life without a bra equals bliss.
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
Sarah was butt-chugging wine and diarrhea'd all over the wall
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
yeah i'm making him "thanks for letting me befriend your toilet" cookies. wanna help? i'm sure you'll be making new friends too.
Is it bad that if I found out I couldn't have kids I'd be more pissed that I've been using unnecessary condoms than the fact that I'll never be a mother?
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