No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
So I was throwing up in this fancy toilet at a party last night, when he decided it would be funny to flush it. It was a beday. I had to walk out with toilet water and regurgitated rumpleminze all over my face and shirt.
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
Then I realized I was alone sitting on the bathroom floor brushing my teeth at 2am laughing to myself.
Now that I'm born again, I'm preserving my gift.
Your vagina isn't a White Elephant gift. You can't re-wrap it after it's already been given several times. That's white trash thinking.
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
I feel like there should be a database and you screen your boyfriend's scrotum and all the fucked up shit they've done goes on file.
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
He said "I can't believe I had sex with a cat lady". Am I flattered or is this a new low?
Is it weird I can only picture you in my heels naked?
Be proud; I'm a versatile boyfriend
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
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