If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I made a Russian puke. I outdrank a Russian. I am unstoppable.
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
He showed up at my apartment drunk with a telescope wanting me to look at the "blown up star" in -24 degree weather, claiming "it's in the name if science"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
30% sure Kevin and I just adopted a cat. Talk to me when the sun's up but I really feel like that's a thing.
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
I JUST BROKE A NAIL MASTURBATING. WTF I could even enjoy my orgasm bc now I'm gonna have to spend $50 on my nails.
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
One can only be this extremely wet once a year and I feel like I'm bitch slapping god by not using this gift he has bestowed on me.
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