the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And I was chasing apple pie moonshine (provided by cops) with bud light limeys. In a golf cart, wearing a tiara.
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My sheer presence has sent the hipsters running in terror. I expect no problems.
"Like what guy would respond to 'let's fuck. I've got bagels'??"
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
*tries to be fun and flirty* *literally gets peed on*
Tell me why I woke up with your dads construction shirt on, nothing else, and had jelly donuts with a note from a girl named cathryn that said "we had a kinky night with peanut butter". p.s. Im by the layin by the lawnmower
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
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