i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
dude, she was giving me a lapdance and her thong had a skid mark. no I did not hit it.
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
my bedside table was not meant to hold this many beer bottles.
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
Please don't pee your pants in the cab. One more time, and im pretty sure the cab companies will refuse to pick you up anymore
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
Randomize
