I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
of course. lets lasso hookers.
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
Dear female. Happy valentines day. If you have not had the pleasure of making love to me, please do not fret, I will get around to it soon enough. If you indeed have made love to me, then bravo, wasn't that grand! Perhaps we should do it again? Regardless, have a good day. This has been a public service announcement. Rock on.
Gave him an awesome blow job on his living room couch last night, so at least he'll have something nice to think about next time he's watching the Tigers lose.
Hon, I found you crying into a bathrobe in the back of a closet with a broken shoerack.
He's writing a strongly worded email to Trojan right now
I TOLD YOU THE BARESKIN CONDOMS WEREN'T AS RELIABLE.
I feel like emojis are just meant for explaining sex without using words to make anyone uncomfortable. It's a true gift
I am buying anal lube, an enema, and a bag of kit kats. What part of this is compelling the Walgreens woman to tell me to "be well".
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
I don't think getting eaten out in a smart car behind a circle-k on my break by a guy I just met classifies as social distancing, but I'm beginning to love night shift more and more.
Randomize
