Glitter + Penis = Best. Idea. Ever.
I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
He felt like a one man threesome
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
I need to stop sleeping with republicans and cowboys fans.
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
I started singing the national anthem on a train in London. Happy 4th of July assholes
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
Oh boom. You're officially Dr Phil. I need to have sex that I actually remember participating in.
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
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