im on my way to getting "i just graduated college with no money, no job, and no plan" drunk
I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey, can you come over and kill me real quick
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
I feel like I should have backed off when "I love you" came out on the third date. Now I'm in her bed wondering which door my shrine is behind. Fuck.
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
He tried to brush a hair off my cheek, but turns out it was just a freakishly long chin hair. So no, we didn't bang.
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
The brides mom put a 6 year old in charge of me to make sure I don’t get too drunk before the wedding
I blacked out after the piñata full of condoms
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