Turns out, Windex will cut right through semen stains on a computer case.
I got tired of walking to the bathroom that I decided to throw up in a cup. I now have 3 cups full of vomit on top of my mini fridge
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
I wish I could remember her name, I mean we fucked and all, but it woulda been nice to tag her in the instagram pics.
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
I just want a whole pitcher of margarita and a headdress from party city and sit around and look like a fucking indian princess.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Jesus, I think this onesie was designed to keep me from masturbating.
no we have a special triathlon I'm entering us in. drinking, fucking, and sleeping. I think we have a good shot.
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
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