saw a pregnant woman in a bridal gown standing on the side of the road while her car was getting searched by police....cheers to new beginnings
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
Seriously. He was just sitting there naked in the dark with a boner pissed that I came home late.
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
I'm not a home wrecker but if one more married man with a yacht asks me to go scuba diving I'm NOT saying no
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
When you text me tomorrow to remind me to mail your parking pass, also remind me to make sure i did NOT pack my vibrator for this family vacation
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
as i sobered up i realized that her cute accent was actually a speech impediment
Stop saying "make it happen". I'm not gonna say "hey, you should get naked with your sister and roll around together while I penetrate you both"
Yes. Do not say that. That will not make it happen.
Still. Make it happen
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
Randomize
