i had a dream that your penis turned into a long neck dinosaur
did it start talking like on Land before time?
Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
Swear to god, if I have to wingman for you on my honeymoon I'm gonna be pissed
The chick working the drive through at BK on New Years stuck her head out the window and told me there were no line ups for the bathrooms inside so i should go in there. I just kept squatting and peeing and told her it would prob help business.
Now I get the fucking shakes every time I hear I'm Sexy And I Know It. Thanks, Captain Morgan.
you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
Your life has no conflict it's just a blur of sex and Netflix
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
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