If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
how many beers do i need before it is acceptable to sleep with sam
enough that when i make fun of you for it tomorrow you wont even remember it happening
My Higher Power is John Stamos
He said he got laid, but you and i both know he was too high to leave his house.
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
Doc gave me something stronger than Xanax. The pills have your last name imprinted on them. This cannot be coincidence.
I just dried my bra with your hair straightener because the drier is broken again.
there is absolutely nothing wrong with two grown men staying up all night blowing lines drinking white wine and playing call of duty. don't judge me
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!
I just puked in a chili’s bathroom... happy birthday to me
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
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