i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
I just set the shake weight record at the bar. 20 mins of that crap and drinking beer through a straw will get the job done. I also bet the bartender 100 bucks I could go shot for shot with him. The date for that event is TBA.
Santa brought me a 1.75 of wine, and a liter of patron. I probably won't remember Christmas, so don't ask me how it was tomorrow.
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
I feel like a Europe failure cause I'm coming home from the club at 3:30 and so many people are just arriving... Wtf? 3:30am People! Drink earlier!
It's a Tuesday.
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
valentines day is a day for loved ones to share. So me and my vibrator. Happy holidays.
Last night I crashed my housemates tinderdate, smoked his weed and then left. He felt too awkward to say no.#Empowerment
it wasnt that bad
you tried to climb into my fireplace while screaming TO DIAGON ALLEY! we didnt even watch harry potter. it was bad
Randomize
