I'm at a party with that guy you made out with on new years. He remembers your name!
You're earring is so big in my mouth
i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
On second thought, is it weird that I scheduled a surgery that determines my fertility around lingerie football night? I might have fucked up priorities.
Absolutely not. I would have done the exact same thing.
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
I keep finding Kraft singles in his pockets. Honestly, this is the weirdest family I've ever worked for.
I'm sitting at my kitchen table alone dressed as a dinosaur smoking bowls in the dark. Is this rock bottom? Or is this living the dream? Who's to say
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
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