GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
drove into oncoming traffic. add a minute to my ETA
"it's Wednesday" isn't a good enough excuse to take my debit card and use it for your own drunken needs. You owe me 250 bro
You know how I've been hooking up with my ex? Well he told me he loved me and I said I was just there for sex so let's get it done. He looked sad, but he did it anyways. And life was good again.
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
Just thought of the perfect gift for mom.... how about not telling her about my fourth open intoxicant ticket I got last night?
He literally shoved the EMT, climbed in the back of the ambulance with his vodka and was like, "C'mon, people. Wrap this up. I got shit to do."
Randomize
