a guy in a toll booth on I-90 told me to fuck off for not being a red sox fan. i am going to miss massachusetts very much.
she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
His housemate was playing a sad violin solo for me on my way out. God I hate musicians.
you spent the rest of the night making a recipe for mixed drink called "the new years bowel remover". it has 13 parts but judging from the bold all caps, the boiled avocado is the most important
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I praised you last night for winning a chug off...you thanked me with a ridiculously hard headbutt. Thanks dick.
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
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