3:26am: come over
you purposely dodge me and you could have stopped me from leaving, you know how far i live. YOU come over
4:11am: mnlodp
dude I don't understand hebrew and I'm not coming over
If I could text you the sound of me vomming, I would.
i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
Just got arrested at PF changs. Happy New year, China
Only time i ever look at my online banking statement is to see when i left the bar.
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
Your boyfriend being in jail is really helping my social life! #GotASingleDrinkingBuddyAgain
There's a video of you almost falling asleep in a bar stool listening to Jimmy Buffett. Nekkid.
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
Randomize
