Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
Kanye's agent is the only person whose job sucks worse than mine.
its a saturday night. im home alone watching legally blonde, eating week old birthday cake and drinking milk out of the carton. so yeah im doing real well
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
He pulled a potato out of his bag in the library. A WHOLE FRIGGIN POTATO. He ate it like it was an apple and waved at the librarian as she stared at him.
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
it is my last wish that my tale be published posthumously as a warning to anyone thinking of eating burger king at nine am
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
You're never gonna guess who's blood is on my shirt
Why do I feel like I really don't want to hear the end of this...
I have a horrible feeling I left my dildo in the kitchen today after washing it. This is my life.
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