More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
You're telling me you've never sent a picture of your cock to a girl and then were all like "Oops, sorry, wrong person! By the way...You like?"
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
So we just accidentally broke into a building from the third floor while carrying shovels. The security guards are still very confused
We walked in and someone handed her an unopened bottle of jack with her name on it. She's like a drunken celebrity.
Dude I just clenched/unclenched my hindquarters while looking in the mirror I have fucking talent
He said 'I really struggle with the sin of lust' then we proceeded to have sex. So I guess it was a perfectly executed Catholic pick up line?
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
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