i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
The sad moment you remember you have no power for a week and can't flush.....
Wrong number bro but that sounds like a damn shame.
She drunkenly texted me about Japanese mythology at four AM. I think I’m in love.
Randomize
