my grandmother thought she vaccuumed up a quarter so she made me open the bag, dump it out on her front lawn, and dig through it. no quarter.
im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
dear sober me, don't br the first to open the fridge in the morning
where are my pants?
you were passing out with two blankets and the person next to you was cold so you gave him your pants to keep warm
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
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