I'm on a mission to free the leash kids. Like liberating the Israelites from Egypt. Only better.
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
I saw him on the jumbotron, its like god doesnt want me to forget his tiny penis
Just woke up and my doorbell is on my nightstand... the fuck?
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
you asked how they got the microwave in the air. we had to explain three times that it was mounted there until you finally feel asleep
Randomize
