I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
mike has just informed me of all the things he would put in his pussy if he was a woman. this includes door stops, power drills & g.i. joes.
"and then my dad would be all like 'hey mike, where's the remote?'"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When I finally got there you were bleeding all over and you just kept saying over and over that the dog was your only friend at the party.
my greatest accomplishment from the city of diplomacy is that i puked at a table of 5 diplomats and my professor and NONE OF THEM NOTICED
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
I found out Naomi Campbell and I have the same birthday and I feel like that explains so much
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
Correction: Jimmy johns. The one pita pit employee has been an asshole to me ever since you locked them out of the store
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
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