Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
The waitress asked if you wanted white or brown, and you said "Isn't it all the same color when it's toasted?". She stared at you for about 20 seconds before she decided that you weren't fucking with her.
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
I've decided to become a librarian so I can drunkenly quote The Mummy and have it be legit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just bought a butt plug on Amazon prime day and you're the only person I felt would appreciate that decision
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
I guess I was running around slapping people in the face with a slice of turkey telling them that the only way to beat alcohol addiction is to go cold turkey.
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
You sent me a very drunk love letter
Was it the one about pterodactyls?
I was disappointed I thought you actually loved me
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
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