i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
your like the ambassador to my penis.
For public speaking we have to bring an object that describes us to class. Can't decide if I wanna bring a flask or a shot glass.
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
And after peeing my pants waiting outside for him, i proceeded to drop down and roll in the nearest puddle to pretend like i just ate shit when he arrived
In the future, could you not call me 'bro' while we're having sex?
The cop took you back from the hospital and the lady at the front desk said "how are you doing cal?" You said "how do you know my name?" she responded "you're the only person i've ever seen that can throw up in your back pocket." Skills dude.
Randomize
