it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
It's like a teen mom casting at the Obgyn's office. I feel great about my positive life decisions.
You called me at 3 am and I rode my flat ass bike that I dug out of my garage in the dark to meet you at dunkin donuts for a 10 minute convo about your mother and you didn't drive me home.
you owe me a blunt and a bottle of moscato.
IM WAITING BITCH. ANSWER ME.
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
I'm sitting on your porch drinking wine from the bottle. Just so your new neighbors know what kind of people are in the neighborhood
MY GOD WHY DIDN'T I TAKE PHOTOS OF HIS CREDIT CARDS WHILE HE WAS SLEEPING
Did you come home, throw out a ton of shoes, then leave again?
That is exactly what I did.
how do you tell someone, in the most complimentary way possible, that they would make an excellent stripper?
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
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