Hi, I just found this phone under my seat at a brewers game and seeing as you're entered in as 'fillllatio' I figured I'd ask you if you know the illiterate ass who owns this phone. Thanks :)
what day is it and did you see me today?
Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
I never thought the first time a taser would be used on me would be at an applebees
Just did a keg stand the dropped my phone in the toilet. Sorry for partying.
You did a keg stand on the toilet?!
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
Well get back to your date and give him the ceremonial 1am handy and text me when your done.
I just licked a piece of cheese off my phone screen if that makes you feel any better
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
Then you got drunk and shit in her car. Nothing before that matters. She isn’t calling you back.
I need to stop using "I went to the Harry Potter theme park" as my pickup line.
Randomize
