This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
Define "chronic" masturbator.
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
Idk wtf I would do on a date. I thought wed passed that stage at least for a while. Nowadays dates should consist of blackouts and shameful mistakes.
This weekend i learned three things 1) skittles in vodka is good 2) it takes more than a roll of quarters to get a cab home 3) never tell a bartender to give you your change in actual change
We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did I really drink that whole bottle of Jack Daniels last night?
Heroically.
One door closes, one man cooks for you through the next open door
Don't do him, he's a Dolphins fan! A FUCKING DOLPHINS FAN!
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
You better have a raging boner when I get to your house and it better be worth missing work in the morning.
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
Randomize