Can you tell me we didn't drink from a fish bowl we found in the bathroom last night? I know it would be a lie; I just need to hear it.
why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
I can't decide who is the bigger alcoholic: you for opening that bottle of wine just now or me for hearing it in the other room over the air conditioner
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
I wanted sex but got Ace Ventura: Pet Detective, instead. Then I had to drive 30 minutes home wet. Worst booty call, ever.
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
I'm eating a bagel on the toilet and watching porn. Trust me, I've got my priorities straight.
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
Randomize
