i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
Dude I think I was making out with the cat last night
I don't have a cat..?
Well nonetheless. Whatever it was purred when I used tounge.
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
You just kept saying "they don't make cigarettes for squirrels. Yet."
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
If you bring home Chipotle tonight I'll give you an epic bj...ball play and all #datenight
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
I'm just now realizing I've slept with guys from three different decades over the past year. That's gotta be some sort of record.
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
How do you confess that you've had phone sex with your fiancé's brother's ex-girlfriend's new guy she's dating who has also slept with your best friend?
Randomize
