i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
Im going to buy a thermometer. If its above 104 im going to the hospital if its under 104 im going to the bar
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
Upside of a two-day migraine: thanks to a prominent "E" in the middle of every pill, I think we can totally pass off Excedrine Migraine as ecstasy to stupid, drunk freshman. This is totally going to happen. That entrepreneurship course is paying off.
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
He texted me at 2am telling me to come get my American flag from his place, if that's not code for sex idk what is
SHE'S PREGNANT AS SHIT, AND I JUSR PEELED A CLEMENTINE TO CHASE SHOTS WITH!! COULD LIFE GET ANY BETTER!?
Hey, sorry for threatening to teabag your mom to death last night
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
You were so drunk you told some dude your life story in one short sentence... and kissed his fiancé. You're invited to the wedding.
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
He calculated like a serious conversion in his head the other day and got a crazy number and I was like damn that’s hot please proceed to take your clothes off.
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