My "High Times" magazine came in today, as well as my girlfriend's new sex toys. We're calling in sick today.
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
There was a photo of his face glued to a lifesize Kim Kardashian cutout. By the end of the night he was doing shots out of medicine cups and making everybody hug it goodbye.
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
Im at that shitty point in my day where I start planning night activities while finger dipping vyvance off of my desk, you got any plans?
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
This is seriously fucking awkward. My favorite sex scene just started and my dad's still here. He offered me Cheetos.
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
How I know I would be an awful mother....I just stirred the bong up with a baby fork. A literal baby fork....
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