If I had a penis I would totaly hang shit off it. Like stretched out peach rings and fruit rollups.
i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
He had one of those small greek statue penises
All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
i was in the bathroom puking my brains out, a girl walked in and said "i just came to do the same thing" so i told her i would move over and share the toilet. its better than being alone.
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
We were so hungover we fell asleep in Goodyear waiting for them to fix her car. At 4 in the afternoon on a Sunday. The workers apparently didnt want to vacuum because they didn't want to wake us.
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
I may or may not have hooked up with the cop who arrested me.. Or I can cross hooking up with a stripper in a cop outfit off my bucket list.
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
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