i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
We were having sex on the balcony and this guy walked by, so drunkily i said "dont move, he cant see us if we dont move."
Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
I'm having a staring contest with a raccoon.
Where the hell are you
He's winning.
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
Current dream situation- Gordon Ramsey is my Uber driver and he's hauling around a backseat filled with chocolate covered açai berries. I'm good for eternity.
I love that my family celebrates every holiday with a joint. Chanukah? Mazel-juana! Easter? What's more spring than the color green? Election day? What better way to celebrate democracy in action than medical pot?
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
Randomize
