Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
Thank god for federal credentials. Waaaaayyyy to hungover to go through airport security lines right now.
I'm like an air traffic controller of women. It's a very similar job. Well spaced and gentle landings are good. When they meet, it's bad. Explosions bad. Dying screaming burning children bad.
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
I genuinely attribute some of my blowjob skills to playing saxophone in highschool
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize
