Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
I just farted so loud that my cat got so scared he fell off the couch.
i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
I got vodka in my stocking. Having an alcoholic mom has paid off.
I told him I'd have sex with him for fried cheese. Does that make me a hooker or just fat?
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
Seriously why is the deadbolt locked. This is the second time I'm having to sleep on the porch using my boots as my pillow. I can't wait till the next time your drunk.
Shhh, I'm sleeping. Just let it happen Jess.
All I got from that conversation with the officer was "blah blah blah, you're disgusting, blah blah blah, $500 fine, blah blah blah, be in court Tuesday."
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
You were mean to me and you broke my heart and hurt my feelings. You dont get to talk to me about Peter Dinklage
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
I'm high on the exercise bike at the gym. I feel like Lance Armstrong
I just want to say that I've always loved you and you are my best friend ever
You gave that creepy guy my number, didn't you? You really need to learn how to just say no, not interested.
Randomize
