You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
He told me he wanted to sleep but I touched his penis and listened to his heart beat start racing. I knew sleeping was bullshit.
Use your nursing skills for good, not evil.
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
You strapped the bucket of KFC into the carseat and refused to let me drive over 20 miles per hour the whole ride home. That high.
This is what my life has come to. Like, I may or may not have just stolen pizza from the guy I just hooked up with's fridge when I left...
You woke up, mumbled something about forgetting to lock the truck at work, slapped my ass, then passed out again...
Personally, if my roommate had a nice friend who made me dinner, gave me free beer, a 4am meal, a couch to sleep on in an apartment on the beach, and breakfast when I woke up, and I found out that said roommate was fucking her, I'd be all... right on! She's cool! Thanks for the quesadillas!
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
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