Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
Marshall is naming all the elements of my face. I love science nerds.
I just had sex over my oven then high fived the guy. It's going to be a good year.
There's no way I'm ready for marriage. I have too many pics of other guys' junk on my phone for an eternal commitment right now.
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
This power is too much for most humans to handle safely. It's like having the nuclear launch codes, except it's my penis.
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
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