i'm unexpectedly in a limo, eating poutine. the driver just offered me coke. good idea?
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
Seriously. There are at least 10 other people drinking at the bar with me at 10:40. Im justifying it with the fact that I've been up since 5am.
I just want to let it be known that I almost put my phone in the fridge.
I am making dinner in lingerie and heels and there is a 75% chance his roommate is going to walk in on this.
Yup. There he is. This conversation is awkward.
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
Intelligence report: the hot sister called you gross, the sweet sister says you're dumb, and the smart sister says all the other men she knows would have to die for her to hook up with you.
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