obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...
just ask for directions from a guy with a penis drawn on his window
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
We're sitting in his room writing songs about America. There's a verse about a dead dog. There's tequila everywhere.
He was twisted. Literally. It's like God took his dick with a pair of pliers and gave it a half twist to the left.
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
Henceforth: booty calls will now be referred to as "deliveries of anatomy". That is all.
She said she wouldn't get out of hand. When the cops showed up she jumped off the 4ft high porch and fell into a ditch. She then buried herself because she was wearing light pants and though the light from the cops flashlights would reflect off her pants. We couldn't find her for 40 minutes.
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
In Texas. Drank way too much wine. Puked in a gallon zip lock bag. Passed out at 445 with the ENTIRE family here. Got up at 745 in time for dinner. I made you proud!!!
There are flour footprints all over the house. Either u guys are trying to pull that Paranormal Activity shit on me again, or u got drunk and tried to make pancakes.
Randomize
