he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
Left for charity run at 5AM. Saw a pigeon eating last night's vomit and a pair of shame-walkers in high heels. Nature at it's finest.
Fuck. That. I'm gonna get drunker and make them regret they EVER put me at the kids table. I'm a MAN.
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
A cute girl just told me she forgot to take her birth control and winked... I've never been so conflicted about fleeing in terror
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
sometimes it's just necessary to be your own gyno when you're too afraid to tell your mom about your real life
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
but seriously, if you see a redhead running down the street tonight in a carrot costume, call 911. He's tripping hard.
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
I keep picking up boring men who literally just want to cuddle. HOW AM I THIS BAD AT GETTING SEX?
Randomize
