you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
On your way out, lock the front door. And by lock the front door, I mean find the door handle, reattach it, and then lock it.
I tried calming him down but his eyes are rolling to the back of his head and he's yelling "COMA WEED!"
Sorry I didn't pick up for your booty call. I usually am asleep at 4:00 on Thursdays. Like a normal person.
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
He brought me bullshit flowers and a bullshit apology. Even shrek did more than that for Fiona. And he's an ogre. Does this not say anything about him?
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
lit a joint with my parents wedding matches today, this is what happens when you're out of lighter fluid. didnt even feel guilty.
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
Our first crop came in on the day that they added Hercules to Netflix Instant, I think it's the universe telling us that it approves of us growing shrooms in our guest room.
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
His birthday is on cinco de mayo and he doesn’t drink or like tacos. What a waste.
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