I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
And at least you didn't have a dinner of Ranch Pringles and Double Stuff Oreos. I forgot that part of being single.
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
Did you really lure me out of the bar with a blond holding a dunkin donuts bag? Well played sir, well played.
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
Yeah I had this grand plan to bring flaming dr pepper shots to some girls and say "these shots are hot, but not as hot as you" but instead I lit the bar on fire
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
For sure. I'm slow cooking a 6 pound pork shoulder wrapped in bacon. If that doesn't scream "guys I'm going into culinary arts lets get drunk" I'm not sure what does.
I just puke and rallied at my anniversary dinner #winning
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
Randomize
