was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
Wearing a Sarah Lawrence sweatshirt is like wearing a shirt that says, "I'm getting a degree in substitute teaching."
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
There is a girl in my drunk limo who hasn't seen an uncircumcised penis. Hook me up with a picture.
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
My cat was watching porn with me. Weirdest bonding experience ever.
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
What kind of outfit says I totes want you to take me in the airplane bathroom?
My sheer presence has sent the hipsters running in terror. I expect no problems.
I came home with 30lbs of BBQ last night. I can't pick up women in a bar but I sure can pick up leftovers from a corporate party.
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
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