I can't watch pbs sober anymore
you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
God I'm so bored. I wish I had a baby or something to play with.
And this is exactly why you should NEVER have kids.
Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just woke up on a dolphin floaty wearing only a party hat. There's blood on the side of the pool and glass in the sauna. Worst fucking hangover. But some guy said he is making crepes so its ok
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
You were absolutely insistent that the entire bar knew that it was peanut butter jelly time
Straight up if I get stuck with her I'm going to drink myself into a prison cell.
Speaking of roommates, Kelsey and I woke up to urine in our trash can. Neither one of us is willing to admit to it so we've come to the conclusion that someone snuck into our room in the middle of the night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
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