I'm pretty sure his head is too big to fit between my legs. Worthless.
You were right. It hurts to walk today.
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
So even though we broke up apparently according to my voice mail you still like me, with smurfs while riding on a boat.
And I was slip and sliding my life away on a giant tarp with tons of soap and bitches. Priorities man, priorities.
He brought me bullshit flowers and a bullshit apology. Even shrek did more than that for Fiona. And he's an ogre. Does this not say anything about him?
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
You know you were way drunk when you wake up at 7 AM halfway on a couch, tangled in a sheet with your shoes still on.
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
there is a smiley face on my leg painted in blood
I'm pretty sure that's yours.
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
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